If You Don't Address Your Childhood Trauma, Your Relationships Will
Simple right? Not really. Why? Because we ALL have blind spots. And repressing childhood trauma is the biggest blindspot of all.
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing experience, yet what's considered traumatic to the perception of a young child is very different from that of an adult. We often judge childhood emotions from the perception of the adult mind.
It's actually been proven, however, that childhood "trauma" is frequently not recognized and often goes unnoticed because we judge what's considered traumatic.
To a child, each experience is new. Falling off a bike and scraping their knee may be really scary, but a caretaker who knows they will heal may possibly discount the pain by saying things like "it doesn't hurt, get back up... Shake it off!". This is essentially sending a confusing message to the child. What they are feeling and experiencing (which to them is painful and scary) doesn't matter or even worse... it isn't "real". This can lead to repressed emotions amongst other things, not trusting what they feel.
Now in truth situations like this happen ALL the time. I'm not sharing this to make anyone feel bad about parenting or their childhood, but more so to recognize how incredibly common it is to have experienced a difficult moment in childhood that may not have been fully recognized. I believe that this is extremely common too.
Unconscious unprocessed childhood emotions are being experienced by adults on a massive scale! All you have to do is look around at how "adults" are acting. Do they seem like they are acting like adults or children? Here is your answer to those who are still working through something unprocessed from childhood.
That all being said, how the heck does this apply to our romantic relationships?
Well, when we experience something difficult in childhood we don't just get over it, I think by now I've made this abundantly clear. Technically we are still stuck in that emotion until we acknowledge it. Our body's natural healing mechanism is to try to release the blockage. In order to do this, we will unconsciously attract and recreate experiences that bring up the same emotional intensity as the original wound in an attempt to move through it. We tend to mostly do this with those we feel safest with. However, if we are unconscious that this is happening or that our significant other is playing this role for us this can be extremely painful.
The key is to become conscious of this dynamic. When a painful moment is occurring in your romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) it's actually a gift! Your Inner Child is sending you a message, asking you to look at the emotions you are feeling at this moment. Once you are finally able to recognize that the pain you are feeling has more to do with the repressed emotions of an original wound, you will be able to stop playing out this dynamic within your relationships.
In truth, it has nothing to do with them, but everything to do with what's still hurting inside of you. Sending love to that part of yourself, instead of looking to your romantic partner to do this is the way to balance this situation.
And... once you do, it's amazing how your relationships will begin to flow!
With Love,
About Jenine
Co-founder, creator, and leading expert in freeing others to awakn™ their unique gifts and step into their authentic self, Jenine's propriety method, based on healing the wounded child, guides you to reconnect with your child essence™, the Sacred You™, where all solutions reside.
An award-winning, international, best-selling author, skillful subconscious facilitator, and inner-child specialist, she continually embodies and demonstrates a simple truth...that anything is possible if you believe...even unicorns!
