The Spiritual Dilemma And Toxic Positivity
There's an ongoing dilemma that's been going on in my opinion for what feels like centuries but is now becoming glaringly obvious. I'm calling it a "spiritual" dilemma because I feel in many ways spirituality is being misrepresented by creating unrealistic expectations which may possibly be preventing people from embodying a truer human/spiritual experience.
I feel the misrepresentation is happening amongst some who are looking for a more spiritual way of life that somehow believes a state of continual "positivity" is the way. That "lower vibrational" feelings and experiencing heavier emotions are simply unacceptable and certainly not "spiritual" at all. These experiences must be our shadow side, the side we have to transform in order to truly embody the light.
The result of this belief in my opinion is toxic positivity. Toxic positivity happens as an attempt to step into a more spiritual, higher vibrational state of awareness. It's the infamous fake it till you make it syndrome. It can go on perpetually for years as someone hides or covers up their true feelings and emotions, overly emphasizing or looking only at the positive things, when inside they are deeply hurting. In a lot of ways, this makes sense right? I mean why dwell on the negative or keep ourselves focused on an unresourceful state? This is absolutely true, yet we can't deny our feelings by continuing to cover them up. We must express, be real, and be truthful with how we "really" feel. Allow the uncomfortable, raw emotions to be expressed, trusting that life will be ok no matter who or what chooses to remain once you do.
See, when we live in fear of truly living authentically as ourselves we dehumanize parts of ourselves that are real to us. This ultimately leads to toxicity in our world. Hiding emotions as an attempt to not feel ashamed of "lesser" feelings actually prevents us from living a more spiritual life and in actuality can leave us feeling even more spiritually depleted in many ways. As humans, we ALL feel anger, sadness, frustration, and pain at times, as we feel joyful emotions as well. Equally, when we hide our real selves from other people it's inauthentic and actually a form of passive manipulation. Many people will avoid approaching someone if something bothered them, putting on a happy face in their company. People still feel this, actually even more so. Fake simply doesn't work! Be real, people may not like it, but they'll respect your honesty far more!
Personally, I have been down this road myself more times than I can even recall. I tend to be a look-on-the-bright-side kind of person, always wanting to see the best in the human spirit. I used to look towards spirituality as my pursuit and purpose in life. I still do of course, though it means something very different to me now. I used to practice what I believed to be a path toward higher consciousness. I believed that always saying yes to everything and being overly positive was the "way". When someone or something happened that really stung me, I used to try and put on a happy face, smile, and pretend like everything was still Rainbows and Sunshine. I never said anything to the person! I believed that speaking my true feelings if angry or bothered wasn't the right thing to do. I'd try to "meditate" the feeling away and then go back to being kind, even still going out of my way for those who were very hurtful to me. I held my tongue many times when witnessing something occurring to another too. I lived like this for many years, holding my emotions inside. Eventually, I developed a chronic illness and almost died of stage 4 adrenal fatigue after our son was born. It got to a point where I realized that I couldn't hide my feelings anymore, it was literally taking my life. I had to learn to become comfortable with feeling and expressing difficult emotions in order to heal. I also had to get over not being liked by everyone! What I thought was following the spiritual path was actually keeping me from being healthy and accepting my life as it really was, negative circumstances and ALL!
I of course learned to turn that around and gain my life back by recognizing that true spirituality is in acceptance and surrendering to life as it is. It's not about reaching some kind of sainthood that isn't based on the reality of the true human experience. This allowed me to gain not only acceptance and awareness, but also compassion, forgiveness, and clarity. I'm still very much Rainbows and Sunshine, but I walk my path authentically now. If something bothers me, you're going to know about it!
In the work we now share helping people regain awareness through their Inner-child, we help people gain a deeper understanding so as to not fall victim to toxic positivity. We help people relearn that the world isn't so black and white, good or bad. There are many shades of grey and in life, we usually experience a plethora of them all!
You’re not being "forsaken" or "punished" for getting angry or for not always showing up as your best every moment. We learn to accept, appreciate, and allow ourselves moments where we go through difficult situations in life, recognizing that it's all part of the divine process, regardless.
Everything belongs EXACTLY as it is... including YOU.
Co-founder, creator, and leading expert in freeing others to awakn™ their unique gifts and step into their authentic self, Jenine's propriety method, based on healing the wounded child, guides you to reconnect with your child essence™, the Sacred You™, where all solutions reside.
An award-winning, international, best-selling author, skillful subconscious facilitator, and inner-child specialist, she continually embodies and demonstrates a simple truth...that anything is possible if you believe...even unicorns!